Saturday, January 14, 2017

GITMO vs. Gulags and Cuban Babe vs. Gulag Mama

Cuban Babe
Gulag Mamma

Trump enters into secret agreement with Putin 
to exchange GITMO Detainees for Gulag inmates.
A Pulitzer Prize winning reporter from Buzzfeed has confirmed that President-elect Donald Trump has entered into a deal with Russian President Vladimir Putin for the exchange of prisoners from GITMO and an undisclosed Russian Gulag located somewhere near the Arctic Circle.  Rumors are flying that the Russian inmates are overjoyed and looking forward to shedding their heavy winter clothing for speedo's, and their shovels for soccer balls.  However, this information is being kept from GITMO detainees for fear they would trash their laptops.  President-elect Trump when asked about this, declared that those on the left including Barack Obama should embrace his ground-breaking agreement with Russia.  An agreement that would address their concerns and finally empty what they view as the Medieval Torture Chamber of GITMO. A torture facility specifically designed for the abuse of those that hold the Muslim faith and run by racist Islamophobes.  Sources inside the Obama White House have confirmed that for the first time in his life---Barack is speechless!

Monday, January 9, 2017

Obama Statue designated Gender Neutral Pigeon Porta Potty

It was recently observed that a statue honoring Chicago's most famous son, Barack Obama, in a city park was being used by flocks of pigeons as a dumping ground.  The city council quickly called an emergency meeting to deal with this fowl situation.  Members unanimously voted to designate, what was obviously a needed facility for our feathered friends, a gender neutral porta potty open to all pigeon regardless of their sexual persuasion.  However much to the dismay of dedicated ornithologist no transgenders have been observed using the facility.  But as to gays and dykes, opinions among the birdwatchers was mixed as they are much harder to identify.  This porta potty is now seen as perhaps the only lasting legacy of the 44th president of the United States.