Barack and his small clan crossed the vast ice fields of the frozen north following the great herds of caribou and woolly mammoths during the day and at night finding shelter in the many ice caves of the enormous glaciers. Once inside they used their flint tools to build fires to provide the warmth needed to get through the long night. As the heat from their several campfires began to warm the cave ice on the roof, it would melt. Small amounts of the ice and the water would drip or run down the sides of the caves walls. This was their way of life, the nights in the caves and the days searching for the animals of the north. A cycle that continued for thousands of years.
As time passed Barack noticed the level of a nearby lake was rising. He thought about this at night while sitting near his campfire as he watched the ice melting on the caves roof with an occasional drop of water hitting him one the head. Suddenly on night he jumped to his feet, for he had discovered an absolute truth, he was causing the lake to rise. It was him and his small cave fire and the fires of other nearby clans. Next day he raised the alarm and warned all he met of the approaching danger and urged all to reduce the size and number of their cave fires, less the lake continue to rise and drown them all. The fires dimmed but the water continued to raise and eventually out of desperation sacrifices were made to the old gods. The Paleo-Progressives had discovered man-made global warming.
As time passed Barack noticed the level of a nearby lake was rising. He thought about this at night while sitting near his campfire as he watched the ice melting on the caves roof with an occasional drop of water hitting him one the head. Suddenly on night he jumped to his feet, for he had discovered an absolute truth, he was causing the lake to rise. It was him and his small cave fire and the fires of other nearby clans. Next day he raised the alarm and warned all he met of the approaching danger and urged all to reduce the size and number of their cave fires, less the lake continue to rise and drown them all. The fires dimmed but the water continued to raise and eventually out of desperation sacrifices were made to the old gods. The Paleo-Progressives had discovered man-made global warming.
Now some 15,000 years later the new cave-dwellers of the sprawling canyons of metropolis have again discovered that ancient enemy of global warming and just as Barack they are calling for the dimming of the campfires to stop the rising waters. And in time they will call for greater sacrifices to the gods of science, not the virgin sacrifices of the past (alas, no more virgins), but instead, the sacrifice of "our way of life". The sky is falling again and the Chicken Little's of the world are sounding the alarm!
By Ron Russell
By Ron Russell
SECOND AMENDMENT STICKERS
HILLARY T-SHIRTS
1 comment:
I like that,Ron! Thanks
Post a Comment