The Logger-Head Turtle and my left Nut

SOME YEARS AGO I SUFFERED A VICIOUS ATTACK BY THE INFAMOUS MISSISSIPPI LOGGERHEAD TURTLE WHILE SWIMMING IN THE HOMOCHITTA RIVER JUST EAST OF NATCHEZ MS.  THE ATTACK ALTHOUGH BRIEF WAS QUITE PAINFUL AND SENT ME TO THE LOCAL HOSPITAL IN MEADVILLE.  SOME MONTHS LATER I HAD A FULL RECOVERY FROM THE UNPROVOKED ATTACK ON MY PRECIOUS BODILY PARTS.   I AM  PLEASED TO REPORT SINCE THE VIOLENT ATTACK BY THIS UNDERWATER MONSTER MY SEXUAL APPETITE HAS NOT BEEN DIMINISHED DESPITE THE LOSS OF MY LEFT NUT.  HOWEVER IN MY ENCOUNTERS WITH SOME 100 WOMEN SINCE THAT ATTACK, I MUST ADMIT TO HAVING ONLY IMPREGNATED 50 OF THEM.  WELL THAT IS NOT ENTIRELY TRUE THE ACTUALLY NUMBER IS ONLY 49, I ALMOST FORGET THE ENCOUNTER WITH CAITLYN JENNER aka BRUCE JENNER.   
OF COURSE THIS IS A LITTLE BIT OF SATIRE---LOOK AT THE JAWS ON THIS RIVER MONSTER, HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN EVERYTHING! 
AND CHECK OUT THE GORGEOUS BABES OVER AT DOUBLETROUBLETWO   YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID!