In light of these findings, Gov. Jerry Brown of California is pushing for a legislation that will introduce pet tax, limit the number of pets allowed per citizen, and pay for a breeding program designed to create gerbil-sized dogs and cats that can live on a vegan diet.
However, scientists at the Karl Marx Treatment Center say that Gov. Brown's plan is only a half-measure that doesn't address the problem's ominous root causes. According to KMTC researchers, there are more sinister aspects to the archaic pet ownership system, which is part of a global conspiracy by the ruling classes to further oppress the downtrodden by suggesting behavioral models in which the pet/owner relationship appears to be normal and natural. In fact, it is anything but.
The ugly truth is, pets are non-human slaves. A recent KMTC study has found that the struggle to end pet ownership is the new civil rights movement of today. Another peer-reviewed study has not only confirmed the first study, but also discovered that anyone who disagrees with these findings is a latent racist and, by implication, a slavery denier.
Following are a few tips for those willing to be on the forefront of progress.
- Raise awareness by wearing special awareness ribbons* and participating in our million-person rallies and marches.
- Don't miss an opportunity to stop every pet owner you meet in the street and accuse him of being a racist and a degenerate slave owner.
- Discuss it with your neighbors, coworkers, and family members who may or may not have pets, especially during Thanksgiving or Christmas parties, in the midst of a cheerful conversation over a cup of hot cocoa.
- And last but not least, contact your congressperson demanding to ban pet ownership and to create a government agency to combat pet trafficking across national borders and state lines. Thanks to The People's Cube
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| IF I WAS HER PET I WOULD TRY AND LICK THAT INK OFF! |
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