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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Twelve Monks


Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of purity. The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response, until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and all the other bells went off.
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A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”
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