Saturday, October 21, 2017

Welcome to 'Hooters Day"

Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad. 

Liz,"Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??" 

Sally,"Cause I just can't get a man." 

Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods." 

Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it." 

Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about." 

Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage." 

Liz, "So, how's that going help you get a man." 

Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."

A girl fell in love with a sailor and had his picture tattooed on her right breast. The romance eventually waned. In due time, she fell in love with a soldier and had his picture tattooed on her left breast. This romance also waned. Sometime later, she fell in love with a marine and married him. 
That night when they were undressing for bed he began to laugh. She asked, "What in the world is so funny?" He said, "Oh, I'm just thinking what long faces those two guys are going to have about ten years from now."


There was a gentleman living in a small village who unfortunately had a stomach disorder that required him to drink the milk of a nursing mother. Well there weren't too many women in the village nursing babies and even fewer who would agree to allow a grown man suck on their breast. But low and behold, the poor man finally found a rather buxom young girl who recently had given birth and who was willing to help him out, for a price. The man was desperate because his condition was growing worse, so he agreed to pay the woman the amount of money she demanded. After all, the woman had a new born baby to care for and the father had abandoned them to their fate. 

The first day was a bit awkward as the man showed up and, with a bit of anxiety and embarrassment, leaned over and began to suck on the woman's breast. Well weeks went by and the awkwardness began to fade. 

One day, the woman realized that the man's sucking was beginning to arouse her sexually. It became almost unbearable and finally, in a sensuous voice, she said, "Is there anything else you'd like?" The man paused in his sucking for a moment and looked up at her. "Yeah," he said finally. "Can I have a cookie with my milk?"
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