Airborne Pathogen ravishing Chicago Ghettos, White sections of the city remain unaffected

Many citizens of Flint, Michigan have fled that city because of the imminent danger of lead poisoning posed by consuming the city's water supply.  However upon arrival in the Windy City they were shocked, shocked to learn that the lead poisoning bug there had mutated and was now airborne.  Apparently now, you can be affected by this often fatal disease, by merely waiting for the metro.  Drinking contaminated fluid is no longer required. Of course,  city officials are down-playing this threat to public health by insisting that regulations on devices spewing these toxic pathogens will be strengthened and that violators will be given a 30 day sentence in the Cook County Jail if they have previous violations on their rap sheet.  Furthermore Mayor Rahm Emanuel has promised to confiscate any such device found in the hands of an undocumented alien and release them with a stern warning.   

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Solution to Chicago shootings and Ghetto Babes

Oops my mistake !

An old Redneck's solution to the Chicago shootings!

Shootings in the windy city topped the 4,000 mark in 2016 with no end in sight for the staggering increase in what is becoming the the nations most extensive outbreak of air-borne lead poisoning in this country's history.  Even soon-to-be President Trump has tweeted on this alarming statistic.  Trump has warned city officials that their failure to control this would result in federal action.  Meanwhile suggestions are flooding in to the office of Trumps transition team on ways to stem this increase in what is obviously black on black gang violence.  One such solution would have all males ages 13-39 with gang tattoos in the afflicted areas be given $20,000 for turning in their firearms and submitting to a vasectomy.  After all shooting blanks never hurt anyone.  Seriously the thought behind this suggestion is that voluntary population control of those obviously having certain genetic deficiencies would lead to a more peaceful community at some point in the future.  Stats also confirm that the birth rate among unwed mothers would be sharply reduced, thereby dramatically decreasing the out-of-control demands on the virtually bankrupt welfare system.  Of course this suggestion was quickly condemned as being racist by those politicians who depend on the gang-banger vote for their place at the public trough. 

One suggestion that really peaked my attention, was one that would have would have mandated partial lobotomies for those afflicted with itchy finger syndrome and "yo mamma" fixations.  However, this was quickly discarded after famous brain surgeon, Ben Carson insisted this to be impractical because on the minuscule amount of grey matter found in those afflicted.  At any rate, this suggestion was quickly tossed out by politicians in Chicago as not only being racist, but fascist as well.  Maybe the best idea for the eventual elimination of gun violence in Chicago came from an employee of Remington Fire Arms, who recommended flooding the most afflicted areas with thousands of his companies latest military grade fully automatic rifles replete with unlimited ammo, while at the same time closing all surrounding hospitals and locking down all ambulance services.

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