The Mistress

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through." 

He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened. He replies, "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?" 

 So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks, "Now what happened?" To this he replies, "Small world."

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A wealthy man sat in his attorneys office."Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"the lawyer asked.  "Give me the bad news first."

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."  "That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously."I cant wait to hear the terrible news.""Its of you and your mistress.

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Any of the below would be just fine for that nice secluded,  apartment, away from the prying eyes of the old lady and the kids.