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Despite attempts to contact the FBI prior to the confirmation of now, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh; Syrian President Bashar al-Assad claims he was rebuffed. Apparently Bashar was a longtime drinking buddy of Brett. The Syrian president admits he has a lengthy list of hilarious stories from the time he and the judge tipped back a few and blacked out together. In an attempt to explain his love of 'beer' and the 'hard stuff' that often follows, Bashar (a life-long Muslim) blames not only the party-going Brett, but his English-born infidel wife Asma al-Assad. Claiming it was these two, who were nothing more than tools of the devil, that lead him astray from the religion of peace---Islam! In all fairness, it should be noted the Justice Kavanaugh denies these charges by the Syrian leader. And in a strange twist, Dianne Feinstein has confirmed that Brett turned in his Syrian Visa prior to being nominated to the Supreme Court.
Upon hearing this news Donald Trump ordered the RNC to print 10,000,000 of the below bumper stickers.
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