Thursday, April 20, 2017

Amazing reason for the extreme shortage of Hot House Cucumbers in New York City

Recently a quite voluptuous country girl decided to check out life in the big city.  She packed her bag, stuck out her thumb and headed toward the 'Big Apple'.  During her first nite on the town, she was picked up by a slick dude who escorted her to a secluded part of Central Park.  There the two proceeded to make out on the green carpet of the park.  When finished, the city slicker puffed out his chest and proudly said, "ho babe, this is what we call a 'grass sandwich'".   The country girl replied, "we call it the same thing back home, but there it has more meat in it."
Perhaps more than anything else this is the leading cause for the extreme shortage of  'hot house cucumbers' in New York City.


32 Reasons women prefer cucumbers to men
1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long. 
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week. 
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count. 
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited. 
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. 
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up. 
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home. 
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend. 
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and. .. you won't have to check in as' Mrs. Cucumber'. 
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. 
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat. 
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home. 
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn. 
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival. 
15. A cucumber won't ask:' Am I first?' 
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin. 
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin. 
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin. 
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once. 
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall. 
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups. 
22. Cucumbers won't ask:' Am I the best',' How was it?'' Did you come?',' How many times?' 
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser. 
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one. 
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator. 
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over. 
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber. 
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law & Sister, after fucking it. 
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection. 
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache. 
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is. 
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
Short Cucumber Jokes

Q: What's the definition of suspicion? 
A:  A nun doing squats in a cucumber field. 

Q: How do you know your momma is NASTY? 
A: When she puts a cucumber in her panties and pulls out a pickle. 

Q: What's the difference between being hungry and horny? 
A: Where you put the cucumber!

Be careful what you wish for!
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