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Sunday, April 9, 2017

Dirty Ole Men


TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. 

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. 

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. 

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' 

 HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH ??. .

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'
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An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. 

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)." 

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?" 

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live." 
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Q: How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach?
A: It's not hard. 

Q: How do you tell a blonde isn't wearing underwear? 
A: Dandruff on her shoes! 

A blonde orders a pizza and is asked if she wants it cut into six or 12 pieces. 
She responds, "Six, please. I could never eat 12 pieces."
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MY PICK OF THE DAY
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MONEY, SHE LOVES MY BODY!
THE ONLY ONE COUNTING DOLLARS HERE IS THE ONE ON THE LEFT

I KEEP TRYING TO LOOK DOWN THE FRONT OF HER BIKINI BOTTOM, BUT ALWAYS GET THE SAME RESULT!


Color Splash Babes


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