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Wednesday, April 12, 2017

United Airlines now offering discounted seats to confirmed Sadomasochist



Following the revelation revealed by an unauthorized VIDEO (see here). United Airlines has announced that in the future it will provide it's special discounted sadomasochist seats only to those passengers willing to sign a full disclosure of their S & M activities.  Along with a comprehensive release form providing all airline employees engaging in such acts immunity from prosecution.    

   
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United Airlines Proudly Presents Its New Special Seating Division
I'M JUST A SIMPLE MAN, BUT WHEN I FLY UNITED I BRING BAND AIDS
SHE JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH, QUICK I NEED HELP!
SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING!  DID YOU PAY EXTRA FOR THIS?
COME FLY WITH US.  YOU'LL NEVER FORGET THE EXPERIENCE.
GETTING READY FOR THAT GUY IN NO.69
I NEED A BIGGER SEAT.  THEY SHOULD HAVE BUMPED THE GUY IN N0.69
SOMEONE LEFT THEIR S&M GEAR
DON'T WORRY IT'S JUST WATER, WE HAVEN'T TAKEN OFF YET!

 On the subject of Airplanes
A commercial aircraft was pushing back from the gate and as the head flight attendant gave the passengers the usual safety demo information regarding seat belts and drop down oxygen etc, she concluded with: "Now please sit back and enjoy your flight. 

Captain Jane Winger will talk to you soon after take-off and give you further flight details”. 

Barry sitting in the 13th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman? I think I’d better have myself a strong Bourbon”! 

When the flight attendant came down the aisle with the bar cart, he said, "Did I hear you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the flight attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female." "Oh my lord," said Barry, "I'd better have two Bourbons. 

I don't know what to think, women in charge here and in the cockpit." "That's another thing," said the Flight Attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit."

Clean S & M Joke
One morning Bobby's mother was cleaning his room, and she found an S & M magazine under the bed. She was beside herself worrying, trying to think of how to handle the situation. Finally her husband came home from work, and he asked her how her day was. The mother told him about the magazine. Shaking, she asked him how they were going to handle this situation. Her husband sat there for awhile, sighed, and said, "Well, I guess spanking him is out of the question."
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