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Thursday, April 13, 2017

When the midriff is away, the underboob will play

A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 

Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." 

The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. 

:Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." 

The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical exercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humongous pair of DD breasts. 

"Is it because I am special mummy?" "No dear it's because you are 25."
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A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?" 

 "Oh ... he is breast fed!", replied the woman. 

"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor. She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination. The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!" 

The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"
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A cowboy walked into a barbershop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." 

The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. 

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." 

 She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that." The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." 

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
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