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Saturday, May 13, 2017

Camel Toes Unlimited


A man and his girlfriend are driving down the highway. The man asks “If I drive 100 mph will you take off your clothes?” and she agrees. So the man drives 100 mph and his girlfriend strips. The man is so busy looking at his girlfriend that he crashes into a tree. The car flipped over, trapping the man and all of his girlfriend’s clothes. All that is free of the car is the girlfriend and one of his shoes. 

The man yells, “You have to go get help. Go to that gas station over there.” His girlfriend says, “Are you kidding me? I’m naked.” “Well” replies the man “Take my shoe over there cover up your pussy and go get help.” So the woman covers her pussy with the shoe and goes to the gas station. 

She says to an attendant, “You have to help me. My boyfriend’s trapped” “I’m sorry ma’am” the attendant replies, “he’s too far in.”
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A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, “I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?” 

The girl says, “I’ll go first.” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, nuzzles them, and then rests his head at her feet. 

The circus owner’s mouth is on the floor. He remarks, “I’ve never seen a display like that in my life.” He then turns to the young man and asks, “Can you top that?” “No problem,” replies the young man, “just get that lion out of the way.”
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A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. 
“Looking for a man with three qualifications: 
won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, 
and is great in bed.” 
Two days later her doorbell rings. 
“Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, 
and no legs so I won't run away.” 
“What makes you think you are great in bed?” 
the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”  

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Just posted some extra large Camel Toe images 
over at my Guns and Bikinis site.  
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