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Sunday, June 4, 2017

The ever popular Farmer's Daughter


There was once an old farmer whose only virtue was 3 beautiful daughters. One night, they were all going out on dates with their respective beaus. There came a knock at the door, and he answered. "Hi!" said the young man standing there. "My name’s Joe. I’m here to pick up Flo. we’re going to the show. Is she ready to go?" "Yes, I’ll go and get her" said the farmer. 

About 10 minutes later there’s another knock. "Hi, my name’s Eddy. I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?" So the farmer goes and fetches her. 

Another 10 minutes go by, and there’s a 3rd knock. "Hi, my name’s Tucker!" And before he can say another word, the farmer grabs him by the neck, drags him out back, and shoots him.
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Hillary and her driver were driving along in farm country. They came around a corner and there was an old cow standing right in the middle of the road. The driver slammed on the breaks, but it was too late. The limo hit the cow and killed it. Hillary looked around and saw the farmhouse up on a hill. She told the driver to go up there and tell the people what had happened. He left the car and was gone for over two hours. When he came back his clothes were messy, he had a ham in his hands and his face was covered with lipstick kiss marks. Hillary asked: "What happened and why were you gone so long?" 

"Well Miss Hillary it's like this. I went up there and told those good folks that I was your driver and I had just killed the old cow. They invited me in...fixed me a great supper and his two daughters smothered me in kisses!"
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DON'T WORRY BABY, I'LL GRAB YOU IF YOU FALL. 
COME TO THINK OF IT I'M GOING TO GRAB YOU ANYWAY@
PLOWING THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER

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