RULE 5 SITES: blonde

Showing posts with label blonde. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Blonde Castaway

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "That's impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony then she pushes her knee and screams again, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert one time. They'd just about given up hope of making it out alive when they found a lamp and rubbed it. Funnily enough, a genie popped out and said they could each have one wish which would come true. The redhead wished to be back home and poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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JUST RUN YOUR HORNY LITTLE MOUSE ANYWHERE ON THE

VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE ABOVE AND CLICK TO SEE LATEST FROM

GUNS AND BIKINIS OR JUST FOLLOW THIS LINK!

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Blonde Driver

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

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There's a blonde driving on the freeway when her husband calls her cell phone. He says,"Honey! Be careful!!! I'm watching the news and on the freeway there's a car driving the wrong way!" She replies,"There's not just one, there's freaking hundreds of them!!!!!"

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A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it…
Cop : “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?”
Blonde : “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65.”
Cop : “Oh miss, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!”
Blonde : “Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, I'll be more careful from now on.”
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop : “Excuse me miss, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something awful.”
Blonde : “Oh… We just got off of highway 119”.

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Saturday, July 8, 2017

Gator and Blonde

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I will remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth.

The alligator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The alligator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone 100 dollars who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle..."

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Monday, May 1, 2017

Blonde and X-ray Glasses

A blonde guy goes to a local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses. He checks them out, and isn't fully convinced, but the store manager comes along and closes the deal. On his way home, he puts on his new x-ray glasses and can't believe his eyes. He sees everyone in the street naked. He takes them off for a moment, and everyone has their clothes on. He puts the glasses back on, and everyone is naked! He rushes home and is eager to show his new toy to his wife, but he can't find her. He goes up to the bedroom where he finds his wife and the mailman, naked in bed. He takes his glasses off, and the two are still naked. He puts them back on, and they're still naked. "Damn!" he says. "I just paid fifty bucks for these and they're already broken!"

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THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY ALWAYS APPEAR TO BE!

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Female TSA security employee discovers what appears to be alien foreign object on passenger. The young woman is sent to high-tech x-ray machine operated by male TSA agent and forced to go thru five times, before getting the all clear. Yep, a true story.
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Perhaps the most revealing image ever posted on this sight.

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Sorry Miss, but you will have to step into the back room. You appear to be hiding dangerous weapons under your t-shirt.

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DIDN'T MIND THAT STRIP SEARCH ONE BIT.
I'M A POLE DANCER IN A GENTLEMAN'S CLUB!

Monday, April 17, 2017

Voluptuous Blonde encounters over-sexed Bigfoot

On her first trip to the great American outdoors, a voluptuous city blonde goes on the deck of her remote wilderness lodge early one morning, just before her jog down the winding mountain path. For some inexplicable reason the young lady, decides to expose her bodacious ta ta's to the forest creatures below.

Unbeknown to the titty flashing blonde, hidden eyes are watching from the forest floor. Hidden eyes, that focused squarely on the sensuous body of the young ripe blonde above.

A short while later the blonde begins her morning trek down the mountain trail. Still completely unaware of the great hairy brute following. A brute whose carnal lust could no longer be restrained, despite his instinct to avoid contact with humans.

Suddenly and with warning the enormous creature sprang from the shadows snatching the unsuspecting girl and dragging her back into the green foliage of his forest lair.

What repeatedly occurred for the next several days was something best reserved for the makers of XXX porn films. Fortunately, the exhausted and totally ravished young blonde was able to escape as the lustful beast fell into a deep sleep while holding his placid but still prodigious phallus.

After hours of wondering through the tangled undergrowth the blonde is discovered by members of a search party. At which time one of the Forest Rangers asked if she had seen any sign of Big Foot as there had been some earlier reports of sightings. The blondes reply was simple and to the point, "Big Foot my ass, if you only knew the half of it." The disheveled damsel further stated that for some inexplicable reason she no longer had the urge to hookup with NFL players or men from Texas.
by Ron Russell

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