Yachting

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting," his wife thought this a little peculiar but said nothing more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, "I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?" His mate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!." The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, "Strange, he has only done it twice and the second time he was sick." 

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VOLUPTUOUS VOLLEYBALL VIXENS AT GUNS AND BIKINIS

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Mounting Animals and Gorilla Sex

This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

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A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500. He responded that he was interested but would have to think the matter over. The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions: "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her," and "Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union." The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third? "Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."

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Pervert Male Found Having ‘Relations’ With Donkey- Owner Demands ‘Shot-Gun’ Wedding?!

In Roadhouse, a village in Limpopo Province, South Africa, equus asinus marriage has become an issue. A local farmer, having caught a perverted bestiality focused intruder with his donkey more than once, is now demanding the man marry the donkey. 

The farmer has approached the village elders for justice, saying, ‘When I went to him he said he was sorry about it but I’m not satisfied as it was not for the first time that he committed the same act.’ 

The acting Headman Daniel Ngobeni,said,’Because of the man’s absence we have transferred the matter to the Shigalo Tribal Authority Council. Secretary of the Shigalo Tribal Authority Council, Thompson Ntlamu, is investigating and said,’We summoned the man and he will appear to answer to charges against him.’ 

Only time will tell if this desperate depraved man will say ‘I do’ to a donkey. But one thing is for sure, the entire situation is asinine. In addition to the utter immorality of having sex with animals, there’s the question of disease or danger. One can only hope this guy gets a swift kick. The Bible, God’s word, has something to say about this. In Leviticus 18:23, it says: 

“A man must not defile himself by having sex with an animal. And a woman must not offer herself to a male animal to have intercourse with it. This is a perverse act.”  Read more.....  

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PREFERS A "MENAGE A TROIS"

SAW A "I LOVE SAN FRANCISCO" BUMPER STICKER ON THIS GUYS CAR!

NOW LET'S GET TO THE MEAT OF IT!

Police BUST Teacher For Sex With Student, Then Police Make A Second Horrid Discovery About Her

It's not unusual to find out that some perverted teacher has been caught preying on one of their students. Both male and female teachers have been caught engaging in sexual relations with the children they were trusted to educate. But what this female teacher was caught doing is truly shocking. 

Erin McAuliffe was a teacher in North Carolina, but not for long. She was hired by Rocky Mount Preparatory School in August of 2016. Just eight months later, in May of 2017, she was fired when school administrators learned that she was having sexual relations with a student. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. 

When administrators fired McAuliffe, they also filed a police report, which opened an investigation. And police found that McAuliffe wasn’t sexually involved with just one student, but with three. One of her victims was 16 years old, while the other two were 17. And it took her less than a year to find these three students and prey on them. 

McAuliffe has since been charged with three counts of sexual activity with a student, and one count of indecent liberties with a minor. She is currently being held in the Carteret County Jail on $20,000 bond, and parents in the community are understandably furious. The school released a short statement, saying, “We have been fully cooperative with local law enforcement during the course of their handling of this matter.”

The allegation that McAuliffe, who is 25, would choose to seek out young teenage boys for sex shows that she has a twisted, demented mind and should never have been placed in a position of authority over children. And while some will undoubtedly defend her actions because she is young and beautiful, the reality is that if McAuliffe was a man, and not a woman, no one would dare argue that it was in any way acceptable. Just because McAuliffe’s victims were boys doesn’t make it any less horrific and despicable.  Read more.....

Uncomplicating the quagmire of Sex

Why do some people just want to complicate the obvious?

Did you ever have one of those days?

Anyone for Volley Ball?

Finally, that age old question of 

'which came first the chicken or the egg' 

has been answered.

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SEX, SNARK AND SATIRE

TO P.E.T.A. WITH LOVE

Fewer animals die when she wears a fur bikini!

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Will Previously Unarmed British Police Officers 

be allowed to carry Butcher Knives?

Following the recent attack on the British Parliament, an attack that resulted in the stabbing death of an unarmed "Bobby" (policeman), by a radical Islamic terrorist.  The House of Commons is considering a law that would allow previously unarmed police the right to carry butcher knives.  This would put them on par with their knife-wielding Muslim brothers and not give them an unfair advantage in any life and death struggles.  However, the mayor of London, the cities first Muslim to hold that office, has already come out in opposition to this legislation.  The mayor claims, that by taking this unprecedented measure, innocent citizens could be put in harms way should  any officer go off the deep end due to the pressures of his job!  

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Thousands gather at Lambert Glacier 

to pay Homage to Mother Earth 

before Trump Destroys Planet.

Thousands of environmental activists 

have gathered on the Lambert Glacier (the world's largest) 

in Antarctica to pay homage to Mother Earth 

and make a final offering 

of their Precious Bodily Fluid (piss),

before Donald Trump destroys the planet.

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Former President Obama has become the 

World's foremost Electronic Voyeur

Following his unqualified success at installing cutting edge snooping devices at NYC's Trump Tower, the former Listener-in-Chief, Barack Obama is weighing the possibility of coming out of retirement as the demand from electronic voyeurs for his expertise soars.

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Traditional Orca Sex banned at Seaworld

Under pressure from animal rights and environment groups the executives at Seaworld have been coerced into agreeing that there would be no more breeding of captive Orca.  This can be accomplished in several ways, either by keeping the two sexes apart, manufacturing super-sized condoms for the male Orca, or bringing in representatives from the LGBT community to teach the Orca the error of their ways!  As of this time no decision has been made by Seaworld as how to accomplish this humane goal.  However bids are being accepted from Trojan and other condom manufactures.  Additionally, members of the LGBT community in San Francisco are demanding that the Orca be given the option of an alternative life style, and are sending large quantities of K-Y Jelly to Seaworld locations around the country!    

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Beer and Sex

I'm ready for one and afterwards I'll have a beer!

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